Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize