Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
