brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
