it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
