We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
