So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
