he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
