i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
