note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
