marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
