You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
