We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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