I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize