He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
