I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
