Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
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