I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
