If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
