it hurts more in the daytime
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
