Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
are you so shy because you have an std?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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