Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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