i just wanna soil my oats bro
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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