this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
