Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize