whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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