I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
