I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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