and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
