I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
