Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
