the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just took my morning after pill in the library
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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