I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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