My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
