I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
