i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
