If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
