You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize