it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
