Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
