dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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