onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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