wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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