i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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