They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
