My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
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