Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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