rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
