I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
