do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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