I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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