i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
