i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
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