this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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