the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
