I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
