Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
