trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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