My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
