is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
