I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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